And then there was a wedding….or something like that.

Posted on by americabydefault

So I don’t know how many times I have started, and re-started this particular blog. This was supposed to be the next step after the “awkward proposal”. There was someone who did not approve of this…but since I am at a stage in my life where I don’t care about what anyone thinks anymore, here goes.

After returning from India, we went back to being busy with our respective jobs. After a month or so we picked a date, actually I did. So the date I picked was a month after my birthday. I figured it would be easy to remember.

Wedding planning is the most stressful event ever, even worse when you have no one from your own family to advise and help. As much as I wanted a traditional Indian wedding with the dancing, henna, and Rukhsati, I knew that was never going to happen. He is a Catholic, and I am a Muslim, so we wanted to have something very small at a non-denominational chapel.  In order to have a Catholic wedding, one needs to go through a marriage class with the priest. Well, we went to see a priest, and had to fill out a questionnaire each and then we were questioned individually. When he asked me if I was going to baptize my child, I said I was not even sure I wanted a child. But they needed an answer and a signature, which would then go to the Archdiocese of Washington DC. Well, my answer was no I was not. At that point the “interview” was stopped and he called my fiance in, and said we could not get married in a Catholic Church, which I already knew before even going to meet this priest. So I looked at different chapels on my own, but nothing was working out.

This planning was annoying especially since I was trying to do it on my own without any help. So with the date picked, I had my mom print cards in India, and I sent out an Evite out to family & friends in the United States. Those who wanted to be there could, and those who did not, oh well. I definitely ruffled some feathers, but with no family support here, and none from the groom to be, I made the decision to get the marriage license and made an appointment for September 1st, So that September 1st morning, sitting at the courthouse, my heart broke again. It was another big event in my life, and I had no family. The price we pay when we move half way across the world. So after we said our “I do” to the judge, we then headed on our 14 hour drive to Memphis. I drove all the way because my lovely husband could not drive my car (Stick-shift). 

My gorgeous aunt had invited people over for a dinner to celebrate our marriage. My in-laws, a couple of my sister and brother in laws flew in for a day. That really made my day, but I missed the most important people in my life-my parents. There was no honeymoon as we had to head back to work. There was no “giving away” of the bride, which come to think of it, still has not happened. Maybe I should have my Indian wedding someday…so my father can formally give me away.

So now as a married couple, we start a new journey, and oh boy! no one warned me about the hidden dangers of being married….hee hee!!! 

joon joon and me

My Work Ethic

Posted on by americabydefault

I do apologize for absconding for a while. I was and am tied up in recovery from my surgery.

I was sitting here pondering about why so many people complain about their work so much, and also those who feel it is beneath them to take up certain jobs even though they are unemployed. I think it all boils down to attitude.

At an early age my brother and I were taught the value for money because we hardly had any. So we learnt not to ask for many things. We were content with what we had, and as adults still are. As a teenager my paternal grandfather Abajaan, started a small business (minus his other major ones) at the back of the house. This was when I was staying with them. We made crayons, canvas paper…etc and I was tasked with wrapping the crayons with paper and then boxing them. I enjoyed what I did and got paid 100 rupees a month($1.47). I also tried to market the product, but not much as I was still in school. Besides this he also sold milk from his farm to local restaurants. I would go with the driver in the evening to these restaurants and help in delivery. I managed all this while being active in sports and school work. I enjoyed it very much. So when I moved to the United States no work was beneath me, because my foundation had been laid.

I got my first paying job with the university and then went on to work with a rental car company. Were there days where i complained? Absolutely, but it was always towards something I felt was not right, not toward the job I was doing. I loved every minute of working and was always told I was reliable. After working for so many years I got  laid off. It was heart wrenching for me. I had just given birth when I lost my job and the combination almost proved deadly. And to make matters worse the market crash did not help at all where I lost most of my savings.

So after being unemployed for almost eight years, I am working again (part-time) and absolutely love what I do. So to those that complain constantly all I have to say is “be grateful”. There are plenty of people struggling everyday to survive this brutal world. Be grateful for being able to afford to buy the things you want, because I know what it is like to not have anything. I have always been grateful all my life for what I had and did not have. It put things into perspective where life was concerned and I hope I can instill a little bit of that in my son. I am extremely grateful to my mother and father for teaching me that no work is beneath me . If my grandpa could carry sacks of coal on his back even though he came from an affluent family, then I can work any where.