Goodbye India….America by Default pt. 1

Posted on by americabydefault

I started writing this to log my story on how I came to live in America. Somewhere between enjoying the summer vacation with my son and life I am lagging behind…and no I am not apologizing for it. So let me finish up and try and understand why I am here, or at least attempt to understand.

As the final year of college was winding down I had no clue what I wanted to do. Even though I had managed to bag a couple of job offers with two big companies, my heart was working against me. I don’t remember much about him because it was so long ago. All I knew was that I wanted to marry him. We were opposites-me the extrovert, him the introvert, I loved dancing, he did not..etc. Yet there was this mutual respect and understanding. He decided to do his MBA, and I decided to apply for my hotel management again, but this time in Cyprus. I got into College in Cyprus and left India, not knowing this was it.

Cyprus was beautiful, the people were great and the college was fun. My stay in Cyprus was short and I even managed to survive an earthquake. During one of our conversations he said he was going to migrate to Canada, and that I should consider the USA to finish my studies. He said he would finish his MBA and then we both would move to Canada, and settle down. Again, I didn’t think much of it and applied to a few universities. I got into all of them, but chose West Virginia University because I had family there, who ended up moving right before I got there.

Now everyone told me that I would never get a US visa and personally I really didn’t care if I did or not. The United States was never in my life plan and after the brief interview at the embassy he told me to come back and collect my visa. This was my final goodbye to my Abajaan(grandpa) who was in hospital. His last words still ring in my ear, “I’m never going to see you again”, and it was so true.

Said my final goodbyes to my family, friends and my country and left not knowing where my life was heading. When I left that airport and gave my best friend a hug it was like part of me got left behind with my loved ones. My parents faces and my best friends face,  along with my Abajaan’s words are still so fresh in my memory. I got to Cyprus, packed my things, said goodbye to him and moved to a new continent.

And this was the start of a new chapter or the worst decision ever in my life….

The women in my life: A small tribute

Posted on by americabydefault

Growing up we all are influenced by certain people in our lives who leave their mark. I come from a line of some extremely strong women and love them with all my heart.

The first of course is the one who brought me into this world (with a little help from my dad). What can I say about her? Growing up I remember this spunky woman who loved life, and was always ready for any adventure. She had an amazing childhood from what I recall. She would climb rocks, mountains, ride bikes, and was a fashionista. She was one of the first women to ride a JAVA in Bangalore. She was also trained under Tenzing Norgay and Edmund Hillary up in the mountains of North India.

I was lucky to have her as my mother. She was selfless, and was always ready to help others, even if it meant getting hurt by them. She instilled in us certain values and morals which my brother and I have never forgotten. In midst of all their struggles, they made sure we were always loved. She has the most forgiving heart-something I don’t have. She has always been popular among her friends and the younger generation too. When I look at her now, I see someone who is still strong, who still gets up every morning, puts her make-up on and is ready to face a new day despite being slapped in the face by life. And the best part is being told that I am just like my mother. All the sacrifices she has made has not gone unnoticed by me and I hope that life treats her kindly always. 

The second most important person: My JOON JOON. One of the sweetest voices and faces that has forever been imprinted is that of my grandmother. My first encounter with her was not long after I was born. She would sing to me to put me to sleep, and that song is still very precious to me. You want strong, then you have to meet my grandmother. She is one tough woman. When she was a little girl they had to leave their home in Singapore during World War II because the Japanese were bombing them. They got to flee in a small Chinese fishing boat to India and almost did not make it because the Chinese chef wanted them gone. But I got lucky and she got to be my grandmother. As a little girl I used to look forward to my visits to see her and they were some of the best vacations. Then I got to go live with her when I was 11 and stayed till I became an adult.She has been through so much, and still continues to go through a lot, but never complains. Her faith and strong will is what keeps her going, along with the countless well wishers from around the world. For those that don’t know-I have her up on a pedestal as people like her and the other women in my life come around once in a lifetime. I am lucky and fortunate that she is still driving distance from me, even if it is only a 14 hour drive.

My aunt or rather my big sister as there is only an eight year difference between us is the third influential woman. Since I was little we got to spend a lot of time together. Being in the same school helped as she always looked out for me till I was there. We also share a love for food especially the street food of India. When she got married at 18 and went away to another country it was very different when I moved to Madras. But as luck would have it I moved to the US (by default) and she was back in my life. My holidays were spent with her and the kids and luck shone on us and my grandmother moved here too. I had both of them back in my life. Something about my aunt you should know that apart from being a strong woman, she is extremely giving and welcoming. So no matter who you are she will welcome you with open arms and make you feel comfortable which some people tend to take advantage of because we women don’t know how to say “no”. She currently is a caregiver to her mother and mother-in-law and I don’t know how she does it-not many people can do what she does, not even me. I love her and the other ladies to the moon and back.

Finally but not least, my sexy grand-aunt Lily who is no longer with us, but is always with us, if you know what I mean. She was one of the first people who came to see me after I was born. My childhood memories of spending time with her were some of the fondest. She had this aura about her which words cannot explain. She was popular with the very young because of her non-judgmental ways. We forged a connection when I was very little and it lasted till she passed away. I can still hear her sweet laugh sometimes and it brings a smile to my face. I was very fortunate to be able to visit her when she came to my part of the world. It was only an 8 hour drive, but worth it. Her loss is still felt tremendously even today.

So these four women have influenced my life tremendously. I am what I am because of my strong connections with all of them. They are the most selfless, loving, and caring individuals I have ever met and will ever meet. To me if there ever was a God, its in these women. And another thing they have in common-they are phenomenal cooks.

I love them so very much and cannot imagine my world without them.